You Don’t Have to Be Fixed to Belong in the Middle

She didn’t need another plan.
She needed a place to fall apart without being treated like a project.
Maybe you do too.

—

Let’s just say it.

You’re not broken.
You’re just tired of being the one who always has it “together.”

The one who shows up.
The one who keeps it moving.
The one who answers the “Hey, can I call you real quick?” texts even when your own mind is on fire.

You hold the calendar, the conversations, the crap no one else sees.
And you do it so well that everyone assumes you're fine.

But you’re not fine.
You're just functional.

And that strength you’ve learned to wear like armor?
It’s heavy. And it’s lonely. And you’re wondering when it became the requirement for being loved.

Let’s Talk About What No One Talks About

Somewhere along the way, you were taught… probably not with words, but in actions… that strong equals valuable.

That if you're reliable, you're lovable.
If you're low-maintenance, you’re worthy.
If you're fine… you can stay.

So you learned how to overfunction.
You figured out how to hold it together… no matter how much it was costing you.

But here’s what no one said:

That performance became your prison.

You got praised for it.
But inside? You started disappearing.

And then came the guilt… because how dare you be tired when everyone else thinks you’re crushing it?

So you started thinking something was wrong with you for feeling this way.

Like peace was something you had to earn.
Like rest was only for people who finished healing.
Like you had to “get it together” before you were allowed to belong anywhere real.

And that’s where the lie got planted.

What This Lie Is Costing You

This whole “I’ll rest when I’m better” thing? It’s not noble.
It’s exhausting.

You’re missing the moments because you’re managing the mess.
You’re disconnected from people because you're performing peace.
And maybe worst of all? You don’t even know what you want anymore. You’ve been too busy holding it all down for everyone else.

But listen. That’s not your fault.
You were trained to do this.
By the culture. By the church. By family. By fear.

And it’s no wonder you think you have to fix yourself to be worthy of rest. Or softness. Or slowness.

But that is not what Jesus ever asked of you.

So Let’s Tell the Truth for a Second

Jesus didn’t show up for the put-together ones.
He moved toward the weary. The undone. The ones who were trying so hard to keep it all together and finally dropped the act.

He didn’t hand them a checklist.
He gave them rest.

And that’s still true. Even now.

You’re not too much.
You’re just tired of pretending you’re not affected.

You’re not falling apart.
You’re finally getting honest about how much it hurts to always be the one holding it all.

And that is not weakness. That’s awareness.

You don’t need a spiritual tune-up or another “quiet time” plan.
You need a moment to breathe.
To let it be messy.
To not be the strong one for just a second.

Because you’re not a problem to fix.
You’re a person who’s been carrying too much for too long.

You Belong in the Middle

Not when you’re better.
Not when you’re calmer.
Not when you’ve finally figured out how to stop overthinking and be chill and spiritual and emotionally healed 24/7.

Right now. In the mess. In the middle.

This is your place too.

You belong here. Not because you’re healed, but because you're human.

Not because you checked every box, but because God already chose you before you knew what a box was.

The middle doesn’t mean stuck.
It doesn’t mean broken.
It just means real.
And it’s where we get to stop trying so hard and just be.

So if you’re looking for permission?
To let go, to exhale, to not have to explain why today feels heavy?

Here it is.

You don’t have to be fixed to belong here.
You just have to show up.

And guess what? You already did.

—

👉 Ready for a space where you don’t have to perform your healing?

Meet Me in the Middle
A safe space for the woman who’s held it all for too long and just wants to be held for once.

Let’s stop fixing.
Let’s start returning.
Right here. Right now.

This is your place too. 🖤

~ Deanna