Owning Your Fire Without Apologizing for It

I’ve been shrinking. And I didn’t even realize it.

Not all at once.
Just little by little.

A quiet bite of the tongue here…
A forced smile there…
A moment where I had something to say but didn’t say it, because I didn’t want to come off “too intense” or “too sure of myself.”

Somewhere along the way, I learned that people are more comfortable when I’m a toned-down version of me.
Less bold. Less clear. Less… everything.

And girl, I’ll be real - I’m tired of it.

That quiet pressure to “chill out”

You know what I’m talking about. That unspoken expectation to play small, soften the edges, keep it cute.

Don’t be too confident.
Don’t be too ambitious.
Don’t take up too much space.
Smile more. Shrink a little. Blend in.

And maybe you’ve been doing it too.
Not because you’re weak - but because you’re smart. Because you’ve learned how to keep the peace. How to read the room. How to lead without making waves.

But now the quiet resentment is catching up with you.
Because you know you weren’t built to stay small.
You feel the fire trying to break through. And you’re starting to wonder what it would feel like to just… be fully you.
No filter. No apology. Just real, raw, God-given you.

Let’s just call it what it is: your fire isn’t the problem

It’s not your boldness that’s too much.
It’s the fear in other people that can’t handle what’s already fully alive in you.

And guess what? That’s not your burden to carry.

You didn’t create your fire - God put it there.

That clarity you carry? That strength? That way you walk in a room and can see what needs to shift?
That’s not ego. That’s calling.

The world may not always understand it, but heaven does.

“His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”  -  Jeremiah 20:9

You weren’t made to keep your fire in.
You were made to release it.

And no, you don’t have to yell, perform, or dominate to do that.
You just have to stop apologizing for being exactly who God made you to be.

Some truth to hold onto when you feel the urge to shrink again:

• You’re not “too much.” You’re just finally choosing not to play small anymore. And that’s okay. That’s growth.
  

• You don’t have to dim your light to keep other people comfortable. If your presence makes someone feel insecure, that’s not yours to fix.
  

• God gave you that fire for a reason. It’s not a mistake. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s holy. It’s intentional. And it’s time you treated it that way.
  

Let them adjust to the light.
You just stay rooted in where it’s coming from.

Breathe, girl.

You don’t have to carry the weight of everyone’s reactions.
You don’t have to twist yourself to be more “digestible.”
You don’t have to over-explain your strength.

Just bring it all - the fire, the fear, the questions - back to God.
He knows what He put in you.
He entrusted you with it.

And He’s not asking you to make everyone happy.
He’s just asking you to be faithful to what’s real and true in you.

Let the fire be fire.
Let yourself be fully you again.

No apology needed.

Need help remembering who you are?

If this hit you in that deep spot - the one where you’ve been questioning who you really are and why you keep making yourself smaller — The Identity Shift might be the next right step.

It’s not a quick fix.
It’s a space to reclaim the woman God always saw - the one you’ve slowly lost under all the pressure to be someone else.

It’s for the strong one who's tired of shrinking.
And ready to come back home to herself.

[Check out The Identity Shift →]

You’re not too much.
You’re just not dimming anymore.
And that’s beautiful.

— Rooted Woman™