Obedience ≠ People Pleasing

There’s a kind of obedience that doesn’t get applause.
No gold stars.
No head nods.
No one clapping in the background going, “Look at her go, doing what God said.”

In fact, sometimes all you get is silence. Confusion. Maybe even judgment.
But still… you knew.
God said move. So you did.

And that? That’s obedience.

Not performance.
Not people-pleasing.
Not crowd approval.
Just obedience.

But let’s be real…

It’s hard when obedience doesn’t look impressive.
When it’s quiet.
When it costs you something.
When it makes you feel like the odd one out.

Sometimes it means walking away from what made sense on paper.
Sometimes it means choosing peace over productivity.
Sometimes it means saying no when everyone expected a yes… and they don’t understand why.

Here’s where it gets tricky: if you’ve spent most of your life earning love through behavior, obedience can feel wrong.
Because people-pleasing trained us to associate obedience with approval.
And God doesn’t always give it that way.

He gives peace.
He gives clarity.
But He won’t always give you applause.

Let’s call it out.

People-pleasing isn’t obedience—it’s bondage.
It’s saying yes when your spirit is screaming no.
It’s editing yourself to avoid disappointment.
It’s sacrificing your peace to hold onto someone else’s comfort.

And maybe you learned it as survival.
To stay safe. To be loved. To not be abandoned.

But what kept you safe then is stealing your freedom now.
And God’s not asking you to play that game anymore.

Obedience is not self-abandonment.
It’s not denial of your needs, your voice, or your convictions.
It’s not shrinking into silence just because someone else won’t understand the “why.”

Obedience is bold.
It’s costly.
And yes… it’s lonely sometimes.

But it’s also the safest place to be.
Because when you’re walking in obedience, you’re not trying to earn love.
You’re walking in it. Anchored in it. Covered by it.

Here’s what nobody told us:

People-pleasing can look like kindness.
It can look like humility.
It can sound like wisdom.

But it’s often a mask.
A way to keep peace on the outside when you’ve got war on the inside.

Obedience flips that.
It may cause noise on the outside…
But it brings peace on the inside.

That’s how you know.

God’s voice won’t always make sense to the room.
But it will sit right in your spirit.
And no external confirmation can match the internal knowing of walking with Him.

The moment I learned this the hard way…

I said yes to something I knew wasn’t for me.
But I didn’t want to disappoint them.
I didn’t want to look flaky.
I didn’t want to be misunderstood.

So I ignored the check in my spirit.
I pushed past the nudge.
I performed. I pleased. I “obeyed”… them.

And it drained me.

God never said to do it.
But He let me choose.
Because obedience isn’t forced. It’s invited.

And when I finally laid it down… when I finally said, “Okay Lord, I’m done doing this for everyone but You”...
the peace I got in return was deafening.

Not applause.
Not praise.
Just peace.

And that was enough.

If it costs your peace, it’s not obedience.

Let’s just say it plain:
If the thing you’re doing for God is fueled by fear, pressure, guilt, or anxiety… it’s not obedience.
It’s performance.
It’s programming.
It’s conditioning.

God’s instruction may be hard… but it won’t be heavy.
It might stretch you… but it won’t suffocate you.

People-pleasing keeps you in cycles.
Obedience breaks chains.

And girl, you weren’t made to be leashed to everyone else’s expectations.
You were made to walk freely in God’s direction.
Even when it’s quiet. Even when it’s weird.
Even when it makes zero sense but your spirit is like, “This. This is right.”

Let this be your clarity today:

Obedience doesn’t always feel comfortable.
But it always leads to clarity, healing, and peace… even if it costs you in the short term.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for following God's whisper.
Not your friends.
Not your boss.
Not the people who raised you.
Not even your past self.

And sometimes, the very ones who misunderstood your obedience are the ones who will later witness your breakthrough.

They’ll watch what God builds with your yes.
Even the quiet ones.
Even the costly ones.
Even the tear-stained, shaky, “I don’t get it but I trust You” kind of yes.

So what now?

Ask this:

• Am I saying yes because I’m led… or because I’m afraid of letting someone down?
  
  

• Am I avoiding conflict… or obeying God’s clarity?
  
  

• Am I choosing peace… or pretending for the sake of comfort?
  
  

Then pause.
Breathe.
Let your spirit answer.
God’s not rushing you… but He is inviting you.

And He’s not looking for your perfection.
He’s looking for your permission.

You don’t have to hustle for His approval.
You don’t need a round of applause.
You don’t need to post it, prove it, or package it for anyone else to understand.

If He said go…
If He said rest…
If He said no…
That’s enough.

Final Thought:

Obedience will cost you people-pleasing.
But peace will always be worth the price.

Ready to reset the pressure and walk in real obedience… not performance?

Start with The Real Reset, your first step back to clarity, peace, and truth.
Because obedience isn’t supposed to crush you.
It’s supposed to free you.

Obedience might not get applause… but it will always give you peace.
And that’s the kind of reward that actually holds.

In Love,

Deanna